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Friday, September 22, 2006
Sorry about that. FYI im officailly internet-less. so i haven written an entry in like forever. cause i have been soo soo busy. (thats' so redundant) well perhaps i wasnt tt busy but i've got lots of stuff to do and everything seems to b never ending.
my life has been preety much of something like this.
good, and then bad... bad..bad...bad... and it remains bad and then a week's time things get better and then the vicious cycle continue.
i swear its so compulsive.
cue: self-dissapointment.
im supposedly typing out a quickie entry to summarize my summarized life. blah!
but surprisingly nothing preety much happen on those days when im gone exception to much tears and sometimes good laughters with friends. and ohgoddamnyes! The fasting month is in in abt 2 days frm today.
so ppl Selamat Berpuase ya! :))
im being true here, i still hadn pay back my previous (last months) fast. its like ohno! damn. that makes twice for next yr.:(( i tell you,i love the hari raya. i so cant wait man! wuhooos.
i hopes and prayed and ya things go preeety fine with my life cause it has brought so much dissapointment t me.At times I feel like I'm just really weary of this world. Tired and sick and tired. Of everything and everyone. Of being weak. Of being cynical. Of being so hateful. When I know I'm not like that at all. And I'm tired of hope. And of hoping. And hoping and hoping and hoping and living each day hoping and hoping and hoping. When nothing I hope ever comes. And it's frustratin.Like sometimes i wonder what does my life depend on.And I feel like I don't deserve good things in life at all. So then hoping would be totally useless to someone like me. But then I know I can't stop, can't help myself. I can't stop hoping even when I wanted to. (Which is kind of pathetic, seeing as I can't even control what I want to do and feel anymore.)
ok. its a pity i always relate things to myself and soemhow being involve in my own world. how selfish.
nevertheless, because of this shitness.fatin is what fatin is now.anunglyfugly MONSTER!ok im quite desperate now for a good fucking life and ps: with a good ladylumps.
only my close ones get wht i mean. :((
im off for now.till then.
6:36 PM
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